Tuesday, April 12, 2016

What We Teach Our Children


I have often wondered how to change the world, even in a small way…how to leave a positive mark, or make a worthwhile difference. I have come to the conclusion that the best way for each of us to impact the world, both now and in the future, is by teaching our children how to become worthy and valued adults. The brain of a young child is like a sponge, which can and will learn from everything that all the body's senses are feeding it. What we teach our children now is key to the future of our country, and ultimately, the world.

Driving to work recently, I took a local route instead of the interstate. Looking around and watching what was going on around me, I made a few observations:
  • I saw several vehicles with small children in them, yet the parents were smoking, seemingly unconcerned with the presence of the little ones and the air they had to breathe.
  • I saw a few people throwing trash out onto the road, with small children in the car - watching and learning. 
  • There were some vehicles traveling with small children in them, without car seats or seat belts.
  • There were Moms, driving and putting on make-up in the mirror – with children in the car.
  • I saw a few drivers, with small children in their vehicle, who could not get anywhere fast enough, giving unfriendly hand gestures to their fellow drivers while weaving in and out of the traffic. And the little eyes and ears taking it all in.
  • Later, stopping for breakfast, I witnessed a mother telling her daughter she was stupid; another screamed at her child; and other parents were shouting and speaking rudely to each other - in front of their children, who are watching, listening, and for better or worse, learning.
Not too long ago, I watched a baseball coach yelling at 9-year old boys to "shut up" while they were on the field. I have watched children steal while the parents knew it. And I have seen parents drink and drive with their children present. On other occasions, I have seen blatant racism in the presence of youngsters.

So - and this is just my opinion, of course - here is what I take from all this:

If smoking parents care so little for the health of their young children (the most susceptible to second-hand smoke) that they will smoke in the car, they are teaching the children it is OK to disregard others for your own personal satisfaction. They are also teaching them it is acceptable to smoke (which 20% of the population does), not to be concerned for the health of  children, or the burden it is going to place on society, along with the message is that it is OK to be self-centered.

If it is normal to throw trash out of the car, we are teaching our children it is OK to disregard the environment, the people, and the animals that make up this world, and that we are not accountable for our actions. We are showing, and thus teaching, our children it is acceptable to harm the places where we live, and then shift the burden to someone else to clean up our mess.

When we disregard proven safety measures to protect our children, or not pay attention to our driving, we put our family, as well as others, at risk. You only have to watch the daily evening news to see another death caused by careless actions - not using a seat belt, not paying attention, texting while driving, driving under the influence, etc. Are we teaching our children it is OK to disregard the safety of others? It would seem so.

When we are rude and disrespectful to others through verbal assault or some hand gesture with significance, we are teaching our children to be rude and disrespectful.

To scream at children or demean them, can only teach them it is normal to scream and demean others. And what does it teach them about how to be parents themselves one day?

If you are racist, you are teaching your child it is OK, we are not all equal, and certain people should have privileges and rights over others.

If we lie, cheat, or steal, or allow our children to do the same, we are teaching them that such behaviors are all acceptable.

There are a lot of truly decent people in this world who try to do the right thing and be good citizens. But sometimes we forget the little eyes and ears of our children are upon us - watching, listening, and learning everything we teach them, directly or indirectly, for better or worse. What we teach them now will determine how they view others, and life in general, and what the world will become. We must all try harder to be the example we want our children to emulate.



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